This is a fact.
Observe: think of the last five meals you ate that weren't in restaurants.
I will tell you mine:
1. Split pea soup in a bowl
2. Veggie chili in a bowl
3. Veggie chili in a bowl
4. Broccoli in a bowl
5. Veggie chili in a bowl
Extra credit: pint of Ben & Jerry's Coffee with Heath Bar eaten from the carton (basically a bowl)
If you're single, leave your computer and walk over to your sink (if you're in New York) or dishwasher (if you're anywhere else in the first world) and take note of how many bowls you have piled in front of you. A few, right? And you probably won't do said dishes until you run out of bowls, will you? It's okay. Me too.
If you're single, leave your computer and walk over to your sink (if you're in New York) or dishwasher (if you're anywhere else in the first world) and take note of how many bowls you have piled in front of you. A few, right? And you probably won't do said dishes until you run out of bowls, will you? It's okay. Me too.
Bowls are essential for a single person's life because they're convenient and virtually spill-proof. They fit easily in one's lap while one watches Law & Order: SVU. For some reason, bowls balance well. To boot, bowl-exclusive foods--like vegetable chili--freeze quite well, which is ideal for the thrifty single person.
Wine glasses are suspiciously close to bowls, so I grandfather them in to discussion. Wine for single women is like brewing beer for single men: we can sing its merits all day, but at nightfall it's just a classy excuse to get a little loose. It's an adult beverage one can drink alone and call it cultural as opposed to problematic.
I'm not bitter about the bowl situation; in fact, I think it's brilliant. It's a choice. I own it. I maintain that eating out of a bowl alone is much more satisfying than eating off plates with someone who makes your cells rebel.
It must be said that I have nothing against plates. I'm being wry and independent now knowing quite well that in a few months I hope to be back to eating off plates. Plates might be easier to break and more difficult to hold on your lap, but they have other positive attributes. They help one compartmentalize one's meal, keeping hot and cold from touching. They inspire one to eat a more diverse meal, instead of just an entire bunch of asparagus steamed and eaten at one fell swoop (don't act like you haven't done it). Plates are plain great.
When one finds another who is plate-worthy, it really is the best feeling in the world. In the meantime, I'll simply enjoy the perks of bowl life.
Wine glasses are suspiciously close to bowls, so I grandfather them in to discussion. Wine for single women is like brewing beer for single men: we can sing its merits all day, but at nightfall it's just a classy excuse to get a little loose. It's an adult beverage one can drink alone and call it cultural as opposed to problematic.
I'm not bitter about the bowl situation; in fact, I think it's brilliant. It's a choice. I own it. I maintain that eating out of a bowl alone is much more satisfying than eating off plates with someone who makes your cells rebel.
It must be said that I have nothing against plates. I'm being wry and independent now knowing quite well that in a few months I hope to be back to eating off plates. Plates might be easier to break and more difficult to hold on your lap, but they have other positive attributes. They help one compartmentalize one's meal, keeping hot and cold from touching. They inspire one to eat a more diverse meal, instead of just an entire bunch of asparagus steamed and eaten at one fell swoop (don't act like you haven't done it). Plates are plain great.
When one finds another who is plate-worthy, it really is the best feeling in the world. In the meantime, I'll simply enjoy the perks of bowl life.
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| My name is Maura and I'm a bowl user. |
Lady, you bowl me over.
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